Reasons Why I'm Glad I'm Single

It's easy to get the no-boyfriend blues. Sitting at home, wishing you had a snuggle buddy, really makes you yearn for that male companion. But I would like to take this moment to rejoice in NOT having a boyfriend, because I've thought of a lot of reasons why it's better to be single:

You're only responsible for yourself, only yourself.
Life is pretty tough in your post-graduate year/early twenties. I have a hard enough time figuring out what I'M going to be doing next. Imagine having to plan with someone else.. BLAHH.. I rather not.. Therefore, I am very glad to have to only plan for my future, and not OUR future.

You're not ashamed of all the trashy reality shows you watch.
Teen mom? check! Real housewives? double check! Bridezillas? oh, you betcha! nothing beats being able to have a round up of your favorite vag-tastic reality shows and not hear any criticism. If I got patronized every time I tried to watch Teen Mom's Farrah say something stupid, then that would just take all the fun out of watching my trashy shows. Which leads me to my next point..

Full remote control access
Nothing is worse than having a man commandeer the remote to put on lame sports/ shoot-em-up shows all day. I like sports and guns a little bit, but only if I am multitasking/ drunk.

Every night is fun night when you're single
It's true, every night IS fun night when you're single. You can do whatever you want! And you won't have any one guilt tripping you on the other end, saying you should be doing this, or you should be doing that. I make my own decisions!

The bed is all mine.
I don't know about you but I loooove to sprawl out in my bed. I've actually had guests complain about my bed hogging when they sleepover. Oh well! My bed is my sanctuary and no one else's, and if that makes me a selfish bitch, then so be it. My bed loves me back.

I've seen what's out there..
No offense to any of my friends who are in relationships, but by the looks of things, the grass isn't really greener on the other side. Yes you have that great companionship and all, but a lot of the boyfriends I witness/encounter aren't my cup of tea. So therefore, I rather be alone than bound to a man who isn't even that great to begin with...

The world is MY oyster.. and I intend to explore it...
The adventure is mine! Think of all the possibilities you have before you as a single gal. You don't have to have anyone else in mind. Trip to Bali? Okay! New Years in Miami? I'm down! The only person you have to think about is yourself, and that, my friends, is what I call freedom!

I would really love any comments from anyone who agrees/disagrees with my post.

Stereotypical Beings of the Gym

I've been meaning to write this blog post for a while. Every time I go to the gym, I realize how everyone at the gym fits into a stereotype. A hilarious stereotype for sure. Now read on and you will soon become acquainted with your fellow work out buddies...

The number one stereotype for sure is Mr. Testosterone. The guy who wears a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, so everyone can notice his overly-sized arms, all the while drinking a protein shake and sweating up a storm. You rarely see this guy working out. Most of the time he is spotted at the gym, he is making his rounds around the weight room checking out his competition. God forbid a female walk by, because Mr. Testosterone compares the gym to a Friday night bar. Ladies beware: if you happen to meander past Mr. Testosterone, be prepared for a complete check-out. This is the only time you will see Mr. Testosterone work out: at the sight of a female. He quickly picks up a weight and pretends that those overly sized arms are good for something. Note to Mr. Testosterone: the gym is not a heavyweight contest nor a mating ground. Please keep your boner and protein shake to yourself. Thank you..

Next up is awkward anorexic girl. You arrive at the gym, and she's already working out. You leave the gym, she's still working out. She's about as thin as one of your legs and extremely pale. She's also constantly doing cardio. Treadmill, Spinning, Eliptical, you name it, she's on it. She also thinks she has the right to wear extremely skimpy outfits. Note to awkward anorexic girl: unless you're ripped like Serena Williams, please don't think you can rock a sports bra. You don't have abs, you have ribs, and your ribs make me feel uncomfortable. Go home and eat a sandwich.

8 Month Pregnant Woman
Excuse me? Are you fuckin kidding me? This pregnant biddy is about to pop a kid out and she's showing me up on exercising. Again, please go home and wait for your water to break. The last thing I want to see at the gym is a crowning baby, so do us all a favor and take advantage of bed rest.
Hyperventilating Guy
This guy is slightly overweight, and does minimal amount of exercise in the gym, yet acts like he's climbing to the top of Mount Everest. His definition of "abs" is raising his neck every second while breathing like an asthmatic red head. He does sprints on the treadmill because running long term is out of the question. Think of this guy as your gym's teddy bear. Like Patrick the Dog in F.A.O. Schwartz. He's huge, cute, and fluffy, but at the end of the day, the only thing he's going to accomplish is laying on the floor for a considerable amount of time.
Obnoxious girl on Cell Phone

Okay, so I recently just got a smart phone and realize they are awesome and way versatile. I may answer a phone call once in a while but I'm not gonna have a fuckin hour long conversation. Note to obnoxious girl on cell phone: do you know how annoying it is to work out next to someone blabbing on. VERY. JUST STOP. And also, most of the time I see you guys, you aren't even working out. You're walking around the gym looking for Mr. Testosterone. Mr. Testosterone and Obnoxious Girl on Phone are a match made in heaven. They both make rounds to find each other, but either is too dumb to realize they're perfect for each other.


Thanks for reading! Give me your thoughts and let me know if you think of any other "GYM STEREOTYPES..."

Growing Up Sucks-An Ode to my Childhood..

Hi, My name is Beth Foster. I am a 22 (almost 23) year old who wakes up at 7:45 in the morning each day to sit down at desk for more than 6 hours.. After work, I go to the gym so I can get semi- in shape and have semi-self esteem. After making up for sitting down all day at the office, I go home and enjoy that fuckin' chicken and salad for dinner. I tell myself I enjoy it and ignore the cheeseburgers and ice cream cones dancing in my head, tantalizing me with their hokey tunes and cherubic, smiling faces. I think everyone knows what those smiling faces look like.

After dinner, I make a turkey and cheese sandwich for my lunch the next day. I then sit down on the couch and watch the various TV shows the American TV networks have picked out for me to zone out to. Then I go to bed...and guess what I do in the morning. The. Same. Thing.

Listen, I'm not throwing myself a pity party here. I enjoy my life thoroughly and am grateful for everyone and everything. Shit, when I get down I just think about those pelicans covered in oil. Now THAT'S a sucky life. Sorry pelican, but it's true.

I think what makes me write this blog post, is the constant nostalgic memories that pop into my head when I'm answering e-mails all day at work. I look out the window at the beautiful day and think about the summers I had before I suddenly became a grown up.

This may be cliche, but running through the sprinklers in my yard was one of my favorite things to do on a summer day. I don't understand why I was so entertained by shooting water, but I was. Looking back, I know I will never have that feeling anymore (Trust me, I know. I've tried to recreate this innocent past time in my older years, and it's just not the same. Also, people look at you weird).

Growing up sucks. But it's also great. You can either look back at the past and wish for it to be again, or you can take the feelings you remember as a child with you. Not even growing up can make those feelings disappear.