I really feel bad for men...

I really feel bad for men sometimes...
Wouldn't you?
Many complain that men have the upper hand, that they are superior to women, and that they have an "easier" life. WELL, I just have to take this moment to bring up examples of why "GIRLS RULE... BOYS DROOL!" haha, but no really, please pay attention to the following, and  women of the universe may stop feeling so bad for themselves after all..

Seriously though, why do men smell so bad?
Anytime I walk into a man's room it smells like Iron Chef Morimoto is cooking up a B.O. stew with a side of wasabi. Why does it smell so bad? Can anyone explain this phenomenon? I feel like I'm walking into a scrotum... and I don't understand why. Gheez, light a candle, please! It does not automatically turn you into a homosexual.

The world is my soap aisle and I intend to smell like fresh cut flowers.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...

Man, what a drag it would have been if every time I wanted to show emotion, I would have to remind myself to "man up" or "grow some balls." There's nothing more cathartic than crying during your annual Vag-a-thon movie fest, and by vag-a-thon movie fest I mean Titanic and The Notebook played back to back to back... to back... I feel bad for men that they can't have this catharsis, but hey, they were conditioned to be non-crying, wood-chopping, testosterone-wielding, sperm carriers. Shame on you society! let the damn man cry once in a while!

But Officer, I didn't see a Speed Limit Sign anywhere

I've gotta say that every woman knows this trick. You get pulled over for a ticket and the ditzy girl syndrome kicks in. (Warning- this act only works on MALE cops, FEMALE cops can see right through your flirty eye flicker) I remember the moment where I realized I could get away with things just by acting helpless and dumb. Many people may look down on this, but would you like to pay my $45.00 speeding ticket? Didn't think so. So if men are going look at women as helpless and needing to be saved, then you're damn right I'm going to use that to my advantage in the real world. Besides, if you can get out of something by using your looks, then why not? no shame here

I'd like a side of Free with my Free shit, THANKS!

Why YES, I would like a drink.. You want to pay for dinner? Oh no you shouldn't have! I'll get it "next time". If i added up all the free shit I've gotten out of men, I'd have a party complete with an open bar and snack buffet. If men find it empowering for themselves to pay for shit, then by all means, go for it. Everyone knows that my college loans only go so far. And yes, I understand that women are becoming more independent and equal, but if men still want to pay for stuff, then take advantage of it. Does any guy know any woman that came up to them at a bar and asked them if they would like a drink? never heard of that situation but if you have, let me know, because I want to go to the bar with THAT girl. Maybe she'll buy me a drink

Pants and shirts are boring

Maybe it's because i am a female, but i love wearing dresses, skirts, jumpers, fuckin ball gowns, whatever it is, I can wear it. But men are reduced to just wearing pants/shorts (unless you wear a kilt, which i have decided not to comment about). Wearing a dress is probably the most freeing experience ever. A life without maxi dresses is like a life without a refreshing breeze on a hot summer night. The thought alone of not being able to wear a maxi dress makes me want to cry (refer back to paragraph 2) Men-if you want to wear dresses I support you, but I will also probably laugh at you.




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